I am actually spending a week in Wilmington right now with my family scoping out homes and the area.  We will be back to Concord next week, but we are trying to get the lay of the land before moving here.  And naturally part of that is scoping out the yoga scene.

Well, yesterday I made my plan of the day as you always have to do with a 4-year-old and 12 week old in your house.  I told my hubby no matter what else went down I was going to Level 2 Hot Vinyasa at 2:30 pm and I would be totally unavailable for that 1 hour.  And, I was sooooooo looking forward to it. 

Well, wouldn’t you know the trip to the USS North Carolina here in Wilmington took a little longer than my husband and son expected which put me late getting to yoga.  We raced out of the parking lot (I even put little baby John in his car seat with a dirty diaper so we could make it on time 😦 bad Mommy!)  I quickly started changing clothes in the car – there was no way I would miss this class; I NEEDED it!  I needed to sweat, to get out of my head, to release some tension, and most importantly get away for a bit.

We pull out of the parking and hit the main road.  What do we see? A line of cars!  The bridge was up.  For those of you unfamiliar with Wilmington, they still have a draw bridge to allow ships to pass.  Very quaint and cute, but very inconvenient! 

I could feel it.  I was going to miss it.  My husband kept apologizing – he felt horrible.  And, he kept saying, “I think we will make it”, but I knew we wouldn’t.  I started to react.  I started ruminating on what I was missing; on what I thought I needed and was being denied; on whose fault it was and who I could blame.  Basically, I started getting pissed off – at everyone!

We made it back home and I was silent.  Chandler kept suggesting I find another class.  That was the last one of the day at the studio I was going to visit.  But, we happened to pass another studio on the way home.  It was not as big – just a little house with a little sign.  But, nonetheless, I googled them when I got home.  They did have a class starting one hour later  – but it was Basic Yoga Level 1.  Hmmm…not what I was looking for but I wanted to get out of the house and I thought that once I got there I could make it my own practice and try to make it a little more power  yoga – get a good sweat going on.  I mean I am a yoga instructor.

I left for class – still angry by the way.  I get there and walk into the studio.  The house was COLD.  I don’t mean not a hot class – it was down right frigid!  Again, another little thing punching me in the face today.  I did push on though.  I signed in and it was a small class.  One of these pay what you can and drop it in the cup kind of places.  The teacher seemed very nice though, and I thought this might not be so bad.  I just needed to get on my mat and MOVE!

I got all set up, got quiet on my mat, closed my eyes, starting my practice inward to what I wanted.  Well, ole’ teach came and started babbling of about this karma and that dharma and bliss in our bodies and our bodies being water and her diet Pepsi bottle…WHAT?!!  All I wanted her to do was shut up and start instructing.  Finally, she did. We did a little breathing and then in the middle of meditation she began to chant with the music.  Okay, still all this chatter!!  But, at least I’m moving a little.  After some hip circles we came into boat – oh yea!  Maybe this will be a good hardcore yoga workout – long boat holds at the beginning – challenging!  Then we rock forward and back and jump to plank/downdog…well that was the only semi-standing posture we had all day!!  She brought us back to seated.  Talked more.  Broke down some seated poses. 

Well, when she came back to talking about her Diet Pepsi bottle again, I just started laughing at myself.  I was like…”Okay,okay I get it.  I don’t know what I need or what I need to be doing today!  I need to just live my yoga and be here now.”  

All day I had built up an idea of what my yoga practice needed to be.  And, all day I had been blocked.  Obstacles got in the way.  Just like life – obstacles at every turn.  But, sometimes instead of trying to break down the obstacles and move the mountains, we just have to live with the obstacles and enjoy the mountain range.  Realize that those are the moments of learning and growth.  That this body we live in now is bliss.  It is the outward of expression of our spirit and if we don’t experience it in each moment as bliss we are denying ourselves and those around us so much happiness.

And, really was it all about me!  All day I kept getting mad because I wasn’t getting to do something.  It was their fault that I was late.  They must not care about my needs.  Very funny that all I wanted to do was yoga, but all day I denied myself yoga.  Yoga means “union” – union of the mind, the body, the spirit – a community of spirits and beings in this life.  Yoga is living with your families, your neighbors, strangers, even with the draw bridge operator in harmony.

So, I got a good laugh in class.  I let go and loosened up and left class feeling so much better than when I went in.  And, that my friends is YOGA!

Love and light from Wilmington!!

Jessica

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